How perfectionism and unrealistic expectation are robbing you of joy in your life, and how you can take back control.


Tired of feeling like you are just never measuring up?


Like there is just one thing on top of the other and you are, yet again, chasing that carrot dangling in front of you promising that if you achieve more, earn more, look better, feed your family better, lose those extra kilo's, make yet another urgent deadline, read yet another self-improvement book THEN you will be “there” (wherever ‘there’ is?) 

Then you will be good enough, then life will be easier, more manageable, less messy.

 Then you will be successful, have joy, feel like you are winning at being an adult?

And all the while, it can feel like your life (in reality) is just one mess, urgent deadline, sick child, missed expectation and heartbreak at a time. No matter what you do, it feels like you will just always be one step behind?

Yeah, I’ve been there.

Friend, it’s time to drop that load you are carrying, it’s too heavy, and it’s a lie.

Life is not perfect when you house is clean, your kids are behaving, and you hit all your goals.


 Maybe it’s time to put away Pinterest and redefine what success actually  looks like.

The journey is the point.

 Life is meant to lived and enjoyed today. Not just survived. (Today is every day)


And that only happens when we are present and here for it, now. When we tap into the Grace that is available to us, and we choose to be present over perfect on this journey of becoming.


Now, you are speaking to recovering workaholic & entrepreneur, I know all about perfectionism and heavy expectation. While I am all for healthy striving, and making life just a little bit better each day, how can we, in the middle of our mess and chaos, add just a little more joy and hope to our days? Yes, in the middle of loadshedding, changing life season, another ear infection or broken relationship.



Jip, even when there is spaghetti on the floor and your coffee is cold and you toddler demands to be picked up and all you want to do is finish the thing you are busy with.

The secret to happiness is easier than you think – PRESENCE TO THE MOMENT.


“All of the spiritual teachers, psychologists, mindfulness experts agree, that if there is a secret to happiness, it’s simple. Presence to the moment. The more present we are in the now, the more joy we tap into” – John mark Comer (THE RUTHLESS ELIMINATION OF HURRY)


I know, it sounds too easy, too good to be true (and sometimes downright impossible, I mean, you haven’t met my boss? Do you know how many deadlines and expectation are on my plate and how far I sometimes feel from the woman I want to be)


Take a few moments, a mere 30 seconds to breathe deeply, let go, become present.


Do it right now.


 Not only does it do wonders for your blood pressure, and stress levels (which will help you to problem solve better and think creatively and clarify what matters in the moment) but allows you tap into joy any time of the day.


Because, friend, is the woman you want to be a perfect one? Unrealistic, unrelatable, perfect and as plastic as Barbie? Or is she real, honest, connected, and present?


Is she learning to let go of what is a waste of time and instead focusing on what truly matters, or does she have it all figured out, with no need of grace and growth.


Perfectionism doesn’t exist anyway, so take that pressure off you. When you are old and gray, what will you wish you had spent more time on?


Give yourself grace to tap into the beautiful, chaotic, fleeting moments of your life, because life isn’t better when it’s perfect or measuring up to some unrealistic expectation, life is pretty darn great when we embrace where we are and allow ourselves to be seen in the middle of our mess. Connected with ourselves and the God who made us, who meets and loves us just where we are, just as we are.


He is the one that turns ashes into beauty anyway.



Stop and pause


Tao into more Grace, connection, honestly on this journey of becoming who you were made to be.






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